Breaking up is hard. No matter how strong you are or how much you’ve prepared yourself, it’s never easy to let go of someone you’ve held close and shared a life with. The pain of a breakup can be crippling, and it’s all too easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of emotions and ruminate on the past.
But letting go and moving on is an essential part of healing and finding happiness again. It’s important to remember that a breakup doesn’t have to define you; in the end, you have the power to make it a positive experience and use it as an opportunity to learn and grow. So in this article, we have compiled some tips that we think will help you to let go and move on after a painful breakup.
“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” ~C. S. Lewis.
How to let go and move on after a breakup?
Here are some useful tips that will help you to move on after a break-up:
Acknowledge your Feelings
Break-ups can be traumatic, especially for individuals who were in a long term relationship. In such a situation, some individuals experience grief similar to what one may feel after the death of a loved one. There are five stages of grief – denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance.
Not all individuals experience all five stages of grief after breakup. However in order to let go and move on, you need to express whatever you are feeling at the moment instead of suppressing them. Give yourself permission and time to grieve for the loss of your relationship. You may feel angry one day, sad the next day and go back to feeling angry the day after, but you should still give yourself time to process all your emotions.
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Avoid all contact with your ex
You have recently broken up with your partner but you find yourself reaching for their number every time you think of something funny. We are here to tell you that it is a very bad idea. Maybe one day you and your ex can be friends again but not right now. Right now, you need to distance yourself from your ex and forget the bond that you two used to share. It is not possible to do that if you are constantly talking and hanging out with them.
This is why you need to follow the no contact rule. Delete their number from your phone; dont text them, dont call them and block them on all social media platforms. For the first few months avoiding the places your ex usually frequents will also help.
No contact with your ex for 6-12 months is the best way to let go and move on from the relationship. It will give you time and space to grieve the relationship, heal yourself and sort out your priorities.
Spend time with friends and family
In the early days after the break-up, it is understandable to feel sad and lonely. You may feel like staying in bed all day and dwelling on the break up. But this will only make you feel isolated and ultimately lead to depression. So instead of overthinking about the break-up, distract yourself by surrounding yourself with people who love and care about you.
Reach out to your friends and make plans with them to go partying and get absolutely sloshed (but remember to be safe). But if drinking is not your thing, go out for brunch/dinner or shopping trips. If you live away from your family, consider visiting them for a while and spending some quality time with them.
Engage in self-care
Instead of googling ex girlfriend revenge, use the break-up as an excuse to engage in some self-care. Taking care of yourself is an important step in the process of letting go and moving on. Spend time doing things that will make you feel good, such as going for a hike, reading a book, or taking a hot bath. Taking time for yourself will help you heal and feel better in the long run.
You can also use this time to try out things that you have been putting off for a while. It can be anything from learning to cook a new dish, taking martial arts classes, to trying out adventure sports like paragliding and going on a solo trip.
The Bottom Line
Break ups are never easy, but it becomes easier to deal with one if we look at it as a learning experience. Break-ups at each stage of our life helps us to learn a bit more about ourselves. We get to know what we like/dont like, what we will tolerate and what are our boundaries. After going through two or three break-ups, it also becomes easier to spot the red flags. So, cheer up! Remember what happens is usually for the best. And who knows, maybe your happily ever after is just around the corner.
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